Late at night

haa another inspiring moment to write.  i shoulda have taken a language class rather than engineering hah... hehe. maybe i can make a platinum best-seller by writing right? gee i really don't know what to write actually.  well lets talk about fate.  so its becoz of fate that i used (and still...i think?) to like someone.  yeah well its kinda boring to hear it over and over again so lets just skip the introduction part shall we. the thing is i haven't met this special girl for some time and so the last time i met her was yesterday.  and the weird part is that i thought that i had missed her, but no. one thing that i miss bout her was her family.  i don't know what kind of feeling it is, but i was really happy to be able to meet her mother and sister again.  her family has this "special thing" in them that makes you wanna be closer with them.  and they're fun too, especially her mother.  really an extravagant woman.  always bluntly speaks up anything that's on her mind.  hehe. and now she has a brother-in-law who works at a construction consultant.  i should have ask for his business namecard, who knows i can work at his company too right? hehe.

and then i don't know if its fate or not too, but i happen to open my facebook and there it is, i've found out that she is in relationship with her best friend.  and darn i said to myself, why do i have to open my facebook now.  why didn't i opened it up yesterday or tomorrow or whatsoever.  well i admit its kinda heart-breaking to see it, but i guess i'm just used to that kind of thing.  FYI of all the girl that i used to be really close to, they ended up going out with someone.  all of this coz i'm not able to say "hey do you want to go out with me?".  and all this time, i held my tongue to say it coz my religion restricted it.  but honestly, i really want to go out with someone once in a while.  i hate the feeling of being lonely all the time.  i want to be someone's knight.  the type of guy that's always come to her whenever she needs help.  but now i realize its me who really needs help.  i know that this is God's test for me, and i think that God want to know how far does my patience really reach out and i know that God will give the best for me. and well i'm happy that she has her own knight now and i really don't have to think a lot bout her anymore now.  and i guess i will never be able to ask someone out coz the only words i can say next is "will you be my wife?" and darn i have to throw her birthday gift now, luckily i haven't given it to her hehe...hikz2x.... Aree in and out...sayonara!